Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
