My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
