thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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