Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
