But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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