I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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