Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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