Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
