So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
