your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize