There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
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we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
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I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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