I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
