Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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