Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
