I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I love you. Go after that dick
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
