well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
