I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
