Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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