How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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