You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
