is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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