You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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