I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
