he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
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