I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
