Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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