Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Can you bring me the toilet please
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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