i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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