were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
