They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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