I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize