yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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