Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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