Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
