Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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