What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize