I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
