Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
