ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
