the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
