Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
