things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
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There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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