hotel room ftw
oh god the rape fog is back!
I think I am morally bankrupt
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
