I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Randomize
