do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just found puke in my bra..
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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