so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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