yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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