WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
