just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
