I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
