She said her name was "party"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
