There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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