we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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