i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
