I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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