Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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