in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
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After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
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I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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