im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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