The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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